An Open Letter to Everyone who voted Protege over Previa.

"willkinton247" (willkinton247) 03/24/2014 at 13:28 • Filed to: None

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The Previa will return to haunt every single one of you so called enthusiasts with your so called love of unique, special cars who voted for a FWD soulless econobox over a freaking MIDENGINED VAN that could be had with a MANUAL TRANSMISSION or a SUPERCHARGER, and RWD or AWD that shoots FIRE OUT OF THE TAILPIPE LIKE A 918.

I hope you openly weep the next time you see a Previa, and realize what you've done. You heartless people deserve a life of Prius-Dom.

crown victor victoria > willkinton247 03/24/2014 at 13:28

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That whole contest is a shitshow. I don't even want to know who wins.

AMC/Renauledge > willkinton247 03/24/2014 at 13:29

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I completely agree. While I contest the Previa's placement in the 'gas savers' section of the bracket, I de test the face that people voted for the Protege over it. Unbelievable.

jkm7680 > willkinton247 03/24/2014 at 13:31

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The Previa will violate you in your sleep.
Rwd, manual, mid engines goodness
Who wouldn't want one?

Garrett Davis > willkinton247 03/24/2014 at 13:31

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Pretty damn fun to drive for a soulless econobox.

Frosted > crown victor victoria 03/24/2014 at 13:31

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I'm still going to buy a Previa one day because my parents owned one as a kid and I can confirm that it is the ultimate minivan. Also Tofu Drift Van is a previa.

Party-vi > willkinton247 03/24/2014 at 13:32

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We had this discussion already.

Anything else with wheels and an engine > Minivan

willkinton247 > Garrett Davis 03/24/2014 at 13:33

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That may be, but it's no match to the soul. Soul always beats fun, because soul causes fun.

Also, this is the Protege they were talking about. Not the one you posted. That's got quality.

EL_ULY > willkinton247 03/24/2014 at 13:35

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Long live the most Jalop van ever!!!

willkinton247 > Party-vi 03/24/2014 at 13:35

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Not even close to being true though. I'd take a Previa has soul. Soul is the ultimate factor in determining a car's value. Plus, practicality is nothing to laugh at.

The Previa is a Sports Van.

willkinton247 > AMC/Renauledge 03/24/2014 at 13:36

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It legitimately makes me angry. I mean, actually, truly angry. If it was closer, I'd be more okay with it, but because so many people on Jalopnik clearly looked at it and said, "oh it's just a minivan" *protege*, it actually gets my jimmies rustled.

Sickles2013 > willkinton247 03/24/2014 at 13:37

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Garrett Davis > willkinton247 03/24/2014 at 13:38

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Ah, true, I didn't notice that.

Ok, Previa all the way. That one is definitely a shit box.

willkinton247 > Sickles2013 03/24/2014 at 13:38

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yes, stance, but also convertible.

spanfucker retire bitch > willkinton247 03/24/2014 at 13:46

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Soul is the ultimate factor in determining a car's value

mazdaspeed2 > Garrett Davis 03/24/2014 at 13:46

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That was my first car! In that color! That is why I voted protege, I know they meant the old ones but I couldn't do that to my car.

willkinton247 > spanfucker retire bitch 03/24/2014 at 13:48

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Hells yeah it is.

seriously. If you don't value having a connection with the car you drive, then go watch " Love the Beast. " It's on Netflix. You'll understand then.

spanfucker retire bitch > willkinton247 03/24/2014 at 13:50

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It is not the ultimate factor. There are half dozen factors if not more that led me to my current car.

Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment > willkinton247 03/24/2014 at 13:52

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The Previa is just a hopeless pile. I will not apologize sir!

willkinton247 > spanfucker retire bitch 03/24/2014 at 13:54

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Well, then, I'm sorry. Enjoy your appliance.

spanfucker retire bitch > willkinton247 03/24/2014 at 13:55

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Enjoy your Alfa. While it lasts.

willkinton247 > Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment 03/24/2014 at 13:56

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But it isn't! These things last forever. They don't break.

According to The Smoking Tire, there's a guy in Portland who runs a taxi service, buys these at 400K, and sells them at 800K.

willkinton247 > spanfucker retire bitch 03/24/2014 at 13:57

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I drive a Jetta with an automatic transmission, but I have a connection with it, and I will defend it until the day I die.

spanfucker retire bitch > willkinton247 03/24/2014 at 14:01

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Who says I don't have a connection with my car? But "soul" is not the ultimate factor in determine the value of a car.

willkinton247 > spanfucker retire bitch 03/24/2014 at 14:16

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Okay.

Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment > willkinton247 03/24/2014 at 15:10

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That is pretty impressive. I'm sure the drivetrains are basically bulletproof, like most old Toyota stuff.